The captain touched his swagger stick
  Up to his golden eye
  And boogied through the vestibule
  While bidding us goodbye
  The enemy surrounds us
  And our spirits almost gone
  The Devil take the cavalry
  That sold us for a song
  
  There's Chi-Chi's on the starboard, lads
  And Chi-Chi's in the stern
  And hashish in the hookah pipes
  And bonny grass to burn
  Our mission is a secret
  But we're fool enough to try
  We'll sail the bloody ocean, boys
  Or drink the bastard dry
  
  "If I'd've been a carpenter," the swarthy
  sergeant said
  "I'd never seen this ugly thing
  That hangs above my head
  The hell with all your heros
  And the wounds they hope to show
  I'm just a simple soldier, son
  With one more year to go"
  
  The Albatross was tiring
  And the cook was in a stew
  The filthy little cabin boy
  Was whizzing in my shoe
  The Captain's wife was aging
  And the first mate heard her scream
  When Tommy slipped tabasco in the
  Captain's vaseline
  
  "Our time will soon be gone," he said
  "It's all we've left to lose
  We've shot our ammunition
  And we're all but out of booze
  So here's to Irma Donegal
  Here's to Nellie Blye
  And here's to my old friend," he said
  And kissed his ass goodbye
  
  "Give off! give off! You sorry lot.
  Give off!," the Captain cried
  "we've lost our bloody anchor
  And we're driftin' with the tide
  The swollen surf is pounding
  Like a thousand cannons roar
  And I shake the hand of any man
  Who guides us into shore."
  
  "We're saved! We're saved!"
  The soldiers said
  "We're saved!," the sailors cried
  And soldiers climbed aboard
  While sailors left from either side
  Some swabbies hit the minefield and
  The rifles got the rest
  And somewhere there's a schooner
  Sinkin' slowly in the west