I got back in town a day before I'd planned to
  I smiled and said I'll sure surprise my wife
  I don't think I'll phone I'll just head on home
  For I didn't know the cold hard facts of life
  I passed a little winestore on the corner I pictured pink champagne by candle light
  I stopped the car right then got out and hurried in
  My mind not on the cold hard facts of life
  A stranger stood there laughing by the counter
  He said I'll take two bottles of your best
  Her husband's out of town and there's a party
  He winkled as if to say you know the rest
  I left the store two steps behind the stranger
  From there to my house his car stayed in sight
  But it wasn't till he turned into my drive I learned
  I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life
  I drove around the block till I was dizzy each time the noise came louder from within
  And then I saw our bottle there beside me
  And I drank a fifth of courage and walked in
  Oh you should have seen their frantic faces
  They screamed and cried please put away that knife
  I guess I'll go to hell or rot here in the cell
  But who told who the cold hard facts of life who told who the cold hard facts of life