Brown shoes don't make it
  Brown shoes don't make it
  Quit school, why fake it?
  Brown shoes don't make it?
  TV dinner by the pool
  Watch your brother grow a beard
  Got another year of school
  You're OK, he's *too weird*
  Be a plumber He's a bummer
  He's a bummer every summer
  Be a loyal plastic robot
  For a world that doesn't care
  Smile at every *ugly*
  Shine on your shoes and cut your hair
  Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work
  Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work
  Do your job, and do it right
  Life's a ball! (TV tonight!)
  Do you love it, do you hate it?
  There it is, the way you made it (WOOOooow)
  
  A world of secret hungers,
  Perverting the men who make your laws
  Every desire is hidden away,
  In drawer, in a desk,
  By a Naughahyde chair
  On a rug where they walk and drool
  Past the girls in the office
  
  You see in the back, of the cynical mind
  The dream of a girl about thirteen
  Off with her clothes and into a bed,
  Where she tickles his fancy all night long
  
  His wife's attending an orchid show
  She squealed for a week to get him to go
  But back in the bed his teenage Queen
  Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene
  Baby! Baby! Baby! Baby!
  
  And he loves it! He loves it! It curls up his toes!
  She bites his fat neck, And it lights up his nose,
  But he cannot be fooled, Old *City Hall Fred,*
  She's nasty, she's nasty, She digs it in bed!
  
  Do it again, and do it some more!
  That does it, by golly, it's nasty for sure!
  Nasty-nasty-nasty! Nasty-nasty-nasty!
  *(Only thirteen, and she knows how to NASTY)*
  
  She's a dirty young mind. Corrupted, corroded...
  Well she's thirteen today, And I hear she gets loaded
  
  If she were my daughter I'd...
  *What would you do, Daddy?*
  If she were my daughter I'd...
  *What would you do, Daddy?*
  If she were my daughter I'd...
  *What would you do, Daddy?*
  Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup,
  And strap her on again, *Oh baby!*
  Smother that girl in chocolate syrup,
  And strap her on again!
  She's a *Teenage Baby,* and she turns me on,
  I'd like to make Her do a *nasty*
  On the White House Lawn!
  Going to smother that daughter in chocolate syrup,
  And boogie till the cows come home!
  
  Time to go home, Madge is on the phone
  Gotta meet the *Guerneys* And a dozen gray attorneys
  TV dinner by the pool I'm so glad I finished school
  Life is such a ball I run the world from City Hall