EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  I'VE SEEN YOU ON MY TV
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  THE PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK ME
  I SAW YOUR DOUBLE KNITS
  I THOUGHT THEY WERE THE PITS
  YOU THREW IT IN A BAG
  AND THEN YOU SENT ME HOME--
  WHAT!?
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  NO, NO!
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  NO, NO!
  EDDIE, ARE YOU TEASING
  ABOUT YOUR RANCID GARMENTS?
  EDDIE, ARE YOU TEASING
  ABOUT YOUR SIXTY TAILORS?
  I'M COMING OVER SHORTY
  BECAUSE I AM A PORTLY
  YOU PROMISE YOU COULD FIT ME
  IN A FIFTY DOLLAR SUIT--
  OH
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  NO, NO!
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  NO, NO!
  WHERE CAN I GO IN GARDENA?
  AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.?
  AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT?
  I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY
  I NEED THE KNITS
  THE DOUBLE KNITS
  I NEED THE KNITS
  THEY ARE THE PITS
  I NEED THE KNITS
  THE DOUBLE KNITS
  I'M COMING OVER SHORTLY
  BECAUSE I AM A PORTLY
  YOU PROMISE YOU COULD FIT ME
  IN A FIFTY DOLLAR SUIT--
  WHEW!
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  NO, NO!
  EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  NO, NO!
  
  HOWARD: EDDIE, MY FRIENDS ASK ME,
  EDDIE, EDDIE, ARE YOU KIDDING?
  I WANNA TELL YOU SOMETHING
  MY FRIENDS:
  I AM NOT KIDDING.
  HERE AT ZACHARY ALL
  WE HAVE SIXTY TAILORS
  IN THE BACK ROOM.
  WE HAVE THE WEST'S LARGEST
  SELECTION OF PORTLY'S, REGULARS,
  LONGS, EXTRA LONGS AND CADETS.
  AND MY FRIENDS SAY TO ME: EDDIE,
  EDDIE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE
  NEW DOUBLE KNITS?
  AND I TELL THEM: I'LL TELL YOU
  SOMETHING. FRANKLY, MY FRIENDS-- WHEN THE NEW DOUBLE KNITS FIRST
  CAME OUT, I WAS NOT IMPRESSED.
  BUT AS YOU CAN SEE
  THESE PANTS I'M WEARING
  ARE DOUBLE KNIT. THEY STRETCH
  IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES. THEY'RE THE MOST COMFORTABLE. OUR MODEL TWIGGY HERE WILL DEMOSTRATE.
  I HAVE THIS LOVELY LITTLE SEERSUCKER... WAIT A MINUTE...
  
  WHERE CAN I GO IN GARDENA?
  AND WHERE CAN I GO IN L.A.?
  AND WHERE CAN I GO IN ROSEMONT?
  I NEED SOME THREADS TODAY
  
  NO, MY FRIENDS, I AM NOT KIDDING.
  RIGHT HERE ON THE MIRACLE MILE
  WE HAVE THE WEST'S LARGEST
  SELECTION OF
  PORTLY, REGULAR,
  CADET, TALL, AND LONG.
  AND NOT ONLY THAT-- MY BROTHER JAKE AND LITTLE EMIL
  AND SIXTY TAILORS