Sixteen years old, looking for a hideaway
  I'm a set designer, my Mum and Dad
  thinking I'm gay
  I'm a lazy bugger, but I like my sport
  Like girls and music, I'm happy, happy sort
  (of a guy)
  But there's one thing I'm lacking
  it's sexual experience
  So I ask you, my sweetheart
  save me from this wilderness
  
  I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this
  
  Where I come from, love is
  just a hole in the wall
  And the steel mills ring out and generations
  heed the call
  And the rain never stops and the skies are grey
  And the chance of romance
  slim as a bright sunny day
  
  This is partly the reason
  I'm so overwhelmed and shy
  Because your beauty, by contrast
  is gonna make a young man cry
  
  I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this
  I've schemed, honey, of a night like this
  You don't know what it means to a boy from
  a suburban home
  To be left with a woman like you
  completely alone
  
  I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this
  
  Nice place you've got here, babe
  never seen a house like this
  Pool like an ocean, bed like a football pitch
  All the guys at the boozer, won't believe my luck
  But it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke
  (than me)
  
  So here we are, the record's
  gotten stuck in the groove
  My knees are trembling, c'mon baby, make a move
  
  I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this
  I've schemed, honey, of a night like this
  I've dreamed, I've schemed, honey
  of a night like this
  I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this