News:
     A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner disappeared
   early this morning.
   Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat,
   suitably camouflaged,
   they saw him catch a train.
      Man-in-the-street:
     "Father of three its disgusting"
   "Such a horrible thing to do"
   Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all
   for tea
   "Can't go far", "He can't go far".
   "Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
   "He can't go far".
      Man-on-the-spot:
     I'm standing in a doorway on the main square
   tension is mounting
   There's a restless crowd of angry people
      Man-on-the-council:
     "More than we've ever seen.
   - had to tighten up security"
     Over to the scene at the town hall
   The Lord Mayor's ready to speak
      Lord Mayor:
     "Man of suspicion, you can't last long, the British Public
   is on our side"
      British Public:
     "Can't last long", "You can't last long".
   "Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
   "You can't last long".
      Harold:
     If I was many miles from here,
   I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
   Instead I'm on this window ledge,
   With the whole world below
   Up at the window
   Look at the window...
      Mr.Plod:
   "We can help you"
    Plod's Chorus:
   "We can help you"
    Mr. Plod:
   "We're all your friends, if you come on down
   and talk to us son"
      Harold:
   You must be joking
   Take a running jump
     The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
   getting weaker;
   Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
   Fearing the very worst
   They called his mother to the sight
   Upon the ledge beside him
   His mother made a last request.
      67-yr-old Mrs Barrel:
   "Come off the ledge if your father were alive he'd be very,
   very, very upset.
   "Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
   "Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from
   the B.B.C."
   "You just can't jump"
      Mr. Plod:
   "We can help you"
    Plod's Chorus:
   "We can help you"
    Mr. Plod:
   "We're all your friends, if you come on down
   and talk to us Harry"
      Harold:
   You must be joking.
   Take a running jump......