Kitty Malone sat on a mule
  Was riding in style
  When suddenly, like the sound of a buzzard's breaking
  Kity felt laser beams being fired at her head
  She said, "I hate laser beams
  And you never done see me askin'
  For a UFO
  In Tomahawk County"
    Well she kicked the mule
  And it walked the path
  And the aliens fired from behind
  Till she stopped the mule
  And she kicked the rump
  And the big old mule took a big old dump
    Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go
  Take your laser beams away
  Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go
  You better stop that laser game
  Or you'll smell my mule
    She felt the fire against her neck
  And it saddened her to feel it burn
  When suddenly, like the sound of a breeding Holstein
  Kitty said, "Stop, we ain't lookin' for fightin'
  In Tomahawk County."
    A little guy from the UFO
  Came on out and said his name was Joe
  She said, "Come on over for some lemonade
  Just follow me now with the whole brigade"
    Chorus
    They walked into her cabin shack
  They had never seen a southern home
  And they liked it, better than their UFO
  They liked it, they really liked it
  They said, "Here's a place of elegance
  Here we shower ourselves in lightness"
    Chorus