It's a nine mile walk from the office to the pumps
  Sometimes you think you're gonna drop
  In the end you're filthy dirty, horny, and pissed off
  And before you can leave you gotta sweep the fuckin' shop
    It's a real real bitch to be workin' for the man
  But shit, I do it well, so what the fuck
  I could probably wash dishes at some other fuckin' dump
  But it's all the same to me, bustin' ass to make a buck
    So read 'em up and stick 'em
  Pump that fucker good
  Some woman down on Main Street needs a jump
  Get your fingers outta your ass
  And pump some faggot's gas
  And think about how bad New Hope sucks
    And it's a piss poor life when the ladies fire you up
  And then you check their oil and know you're fucked
  'Cause no one wants a loser who works for 5 an hour
  Smells like gas, looks like shit, works in the rain and rude as hell
    Now I can fix a tire like Hurricane Melinda
  I know that I'm the best for what it's worth
  So if I choose to help you don't look like you expect it
  'Cause it's a gift that God gave me at birth
    So read 'em up and stick 'em
  Pump that fucker good
  Some woman down on Main Street needs a jump
  Get your fingers outta your ass
  And pump some faggot's gas
  And think about how bad New Hope sucks, woohoo!
    [chorus]