CHORUS:
   I'm in a band with an Italian drummer
   and all the girls just fall in his lap
   I'm in a band with an Italian drummer
   But for a foreigner he's quite a nice chap
  
   He just cooks pasta, always faster
   He smokes with his father, makes good carbonara
   His cock's too long to fit in this song
   He shaves his legs and always thinks about sex
   His hands have blisters, don't trust him with your sisters
   He talks baloni and eats rigatoni
   His name's on his sticks, he's got smelly armpits
   And when he plays his drums it sounds like this
  
   REPEAT CHORUS
  
   He's really Italian, hung like a stallion
   He never takes a rest from chasing breasts and legs
   He hates Peter Criss but he still likes Kiss
   And when he plays his drums it sounds like this
  
   REPEAT CHORUS
  
   "The characters described in this song are fictitious and
   any similarity to real people living or dead is entirely
   coincidental and unintentional"
  
   REPEAT CHORUS
  
   He's really Italian, he's hung like a stallion
   His cock's too long to fit in this song
   He shaves his legs, always thinks about sex
   His hands have blisters, don't trust him with your sisters
  
   He talks baloni and eats rigatoni
   His name's on his sticks, he's got smelly armpits
   when he plays his drums...
  
   ...do you know someone like this
  
   I'm in a band with an Italian drummer
   I'm in a band with a foreign chap (Repeat in infinity)
  
   "You know son, it's like this you see.
   We met him down the pub one day and eerm...
   he looked a bit of a geezer at the time.
   Ha! It was only when we gave him a fucking saxophone
   that he discovered he was a fucking drummer didn't he!
   Fucking cunt!
   So we got rid of his saxophone and eerm...
   put these drums there instead. And eerm...
   he was a star really.
   And there's nothing we can do about it really."
  
   I'm in a band, in a band, in a band...
  
   "Hey, are you fucking talking to me, aye?
  
   Minchia! Minchia! Minchia! E' come se metti del
   peperoncino nel culo di una porta che scoreggia nuvole di nero.
   E poi c'era una vacca... Io non ho capito che dice questo
   ragazzo inglese... Non mi ricordo.
  
   Ehi Vito, ma che cazzo dice, eh ?!
   E te l'ho detto, io non capisco una minchia questo
   ragazzo straniero.
  
   ...fucking talking to you, aye!!! Ah, think so!
   Andate a 'fanculo !!!"
  
   Translation:
   (More or less):
  
   "Dick! Dick! Dick! (in Sicilian dialect)
   It's like if you put some pepper in the ass of a door (?)
   that farts black clouds.
  
   And then there was a cow... I don't undestand what this
   english boy is saying... I don't remember.
  
   Ehi Vito, what does that dick say, eh ?
   And I told you, I don't understand this stranger boy.
  
   ...fucking talking to you, aye!!! Ah, think so!
  
   Fuck off !!!"